“But You See, the Way My Ego Is Set Up…” (dedicated to Katrina Lynn and Blaine Clay)

“Who am I?” It would seem absolutely ridiculous that the shortest and simplest question ever asked could bring about the most complicated and inconclusive of answers. However, that is exactly what happens with whomever you ask. On the brink of ending “Chapter 24” I look back at the last 11 months, and everything that has taken place truly baffles me. In essence, 23 has been comprised of successfully doing things that I told myself I wouldn't be capable of doing until sometime later, and being patient and diligent enough to work through trials that I thoroughly planned to avoid. In a YouTube web series called Finding Me, the protagonist Faybien claims, "The 20s are all about finding yourself." Hmmm…okay…cool beans, but where are you supposed to start looking, and how do you know when you've found yourself?

One of the top tier psychoanalysts of the 20^th century, Erik Erikson (I STAAAAN for him, YEEEEEESSS!!!!!!) theorized that in human development each being undergoes psychosocial conflicts that arise from the desire to live successfully, sincerely, and shamelessly. Each crisis serves as a turning point for one’s personality development given that the success of later crises/stages depends on the prior one. The eight psychosocial crises are: Trust v. Mistrust (Infancy), Autonomy v. Doubt (Toddler), Initiative v. Guilt (Childhood), Industry v. Inferiority (School-Age Childhood), Identity v. Role Confusion (Adolescence), Intimacy v. Isolation (Early Adulthood), Generativity v. Stagnation (Middle-Aged Adulthood), and Integrity v. Despair (Late Adulthood). For the psychosocial conflict of adolescence, it is most important to the person that he or she knows himself or herself physically, mentally, sexually, socially, emotionally, professionally…in all the ways. On top of that, what the adolescent seeks is the full and consistent embodiment of that self-knowledge. When that is not attained or dissonance (lack of harmony) in personality is frequent, it becomes difficult to achieve—or perceive achievement of—one’s identity. (Now can you see why Erikson is my FAVE?)

While traveling this road to becoming magnanimous, I have discovered SOOO much about myself. I know that though I may not be able profess exactly who I am, I assure you I am well aware of who I am not, which is an excellent start to uncovering your identity. However, it is vital to know what life you are about, rather than focusing on the things that didn't/don’t/won’t work. Take a word from Ms. Frizzle: “Take chances. Make mistakes. Get messy!” #ShowingMyAge

- Brandon Avery