"I’m Not Saying ‘I RUN THIS’, But…I’m Just Saying…MEEEEEE!!!!!!"

“On a scale ranging from Angelica Pickles to Barney Stinson, how self-concerned is your kid?” People close to me will be in disbelief about the revelation I had this week, but here goes: I, Brandon Avery, as much as I can be selfless, am indeed very selfish. Even more so, it seems that I am not good at knowing when to appropriately be either. Yes, I did just say it benefits one to be self-interested when called for. You should never give so much of yourself that you have nothing left to come back to. But dear adolescents, according to your parents you’re a little too focused on (*insert whiny voice here*) “my future, my clique, my wardrobe, my boo thang, my image…” all that is “M-I-N-E”. As annoying and unrighteous as this behavior appears, might it be necessary, and is it temporary?

David Elkind, Ph.D and specialist in cognitive (thought processes) and social development in childhood and adolescence, argued that with each stage of cognitive development (look up Jean Piaget for further details on that) garners a type of egocentrism appropriate for the age cluster’s cognitive abilities. FYI: Egocentrism, according to Elkind, is “the inability to differentiate one’s own thoughts and feelings from those of others.” He also believed that the chief goal of adolescence was “conquest of thought,” meaning that an adolescent desires to conceptualize the thoughts of others as naturally he/she does his/her own. As a result, adolescents tend to believe that what they find relevant and important—and why—everyone else does—or should—too. Adolescent egocentrism is characterized by two notions: the personal fable (a.k.a. “Uh, no. I’m SO different; that could NEVER happen to ME. Swerve.”) and the imaginary audience (a.k.a. “I swear he is ALWAYS talking about/looking at/trying to be like me. Swerve.”).

#Gospel: This behavior tends to end when middle adolescence (16 Y.O.) is reached as teens are able to discern their own concerns from those of others; also, the testing of their beliefs helps in transitioning out of this thinking when adolescents adhere to the people whose opinions truly matter, or the actual audience. Thus, don’t deem selfishness as callous and immature. It’s a necessary tool we all use—yes, adults too—to learn what is and is not fetch. #ReginaGeorgeFlow