"Role-ing with the Punches"

(Courtesy of Bored Teachers)

“Má, te amo, en serio. Pero… You already wear so many hats, and now because of this quarantine you have to be my teacher and counselor, too--even though you didn’t go to college, no offense! I know you’re doing your best to adjust and help me too, but this right here… ¿E’ segura?”

When I started teaching over 10 years ago, I was told this profession would test if I was truly about that parenting life. After a decade in (from early childhood education to secondary education; in classrooms, studios, and offices), I can attest that teaching definitely gives you a crash course in parenthood. In most cases, not only do we become secondary parents to our students, but the older and more experienced faculty and staff become bonus parents to us younger teachers--legit, at every institution I worked at I always found someone to call “Mom/Mama ____”. On that, many teacher-parents take on roles outside of the home and the school (e.g.: church ministry leaders, sports coaches, store managers, real estate brokers). So if you became a teacher-parent--or had to learn from one--during this quarantine and need insight on how to succeed the next time, here’s something to consider...

Based on the famous Situational Leadership® Model by Paul Hersey and Ken Blanchard, educator Gerald Grow translated those business management principles to an educational setting, called the SSDL Model®. (When you consider that compulsory education is intended to prepare children for the workforce, it is easier to see the strong relationship between business, education, and social psychology.) There are four stages of self-directed learning that must be matched with the appropriate teaching role for effective learning to take place. (NOTE: The six teacher roles stated are for teacher-student interactions when receiving content and completing tasks; four of them are paired to meet the varied needs of the two lower levels.)

• ⇒ Stage 1: The dependent learner best learns from a disciplinarian/coach teacher. As this student requires learning the content at an introductory level, the teacher must drill the content detailedly and encourage the student to see the completion of essential tasks.
• ⇒ Stage 2:  The interested learner best learns from a lecturer/model teacher. As this student is an experienced beginner with the content, the teacher is needed for more thorough explanations of the content and demonstrating how to execute higher level tasks.
• ⇒ Stage 3: The involved learner best learns from a facilitator teacher. As this intermediate level student can now participate in educating themselves on the content, the teacher helps develop strategies for the learner to become confident, self-sufficient, and collaborative.
• ⇒ Stage 4: The self-directed learner best learns from a counselor. As this advanced student is in full control of their learning and well-versed with the content, the teacher becomes a compass when setting and accomplishing goals, called upon for fine-tuning and reaffirming.

Hopefully, you can find yourself in these different stages as a teacher or student--since learning is situational--and move accordingly. If nothing more, I hope you have gained a new appreciation for the teachers in your life, especially the ones who took on that role since your birth.

Follow Brandon Avery on social media!!

- Twitter: @nblvblbavery

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"ISSA Situation... Not a Disposition"

(Courtesy of sites.google.com)

“It’s just his thing to be late. Yeah, it may be heavy traffic coming from her side of town; and it’s true, he usually gets here early when roads are clearer. That said, we know he just can’t manage his time well. Me though, it’s a situation when I run late! You know what I mean?”

In February Grammy award-winning (YAHS!!) singer-songwriter Jojo had an interview with Lewis Howes discussing her history in the music business, particularly the 7-year lawsuit with Blackground Records. When Howes asked her to share her biggest lesson during her teenage years in the industry, Jojo stated, “You can’t take things personally. Everybody’s going to do what’s best for them… No one’s a villain in their own mind.” That hit me HARD. I was reminded of how people consider harsh--possibly harmful to others--decisions they make as survival tactics based on the given situation; rarely will you hear someone judging themselves according to their decisions. Yet, think about how many times you have readily categorized other people from the couple of actions you observed. No no no, I am not calling you “judgemental”, but what I am saying is...

As personality perception is a huge factor of social interactions, a key subject of social psychology is attribution. The Attribution Theory refers to how we understand the cause of events and behaviors to be driven by two things: by situation (the current setting and details of the environment) and by disposition (a person’s/group’s traits or a places’ history). In 1977, social psychology experts Teresa Amabile, Julia L. Steinmetz, and Lee Ross conducted a study that sheds light on what we now know as the Fundamental Attribution Error, a tendency to attribute the causes of behavior to disposition rather than situation. In the experiment people were asked to observe an interaction between a quizmaster and a contestant (both randomly chosen) where the quizmaster asked the contestant trivia questions without regard to the contestant’s knowledge pool. The observers, rather than recognizing the roles played as only such, assumed the person playing the quizmaster was a smarter person. This also explains what is called the actor-observer bias, in that we will judge actions by one’s disposition when we lack access to situational information. The word “error” comes into play as this bias prevents full, more truthful explanations of events and behaviors from being given or received. This error becomes the Ultimate Attribution Error when we apply a disposition of an individual to a group that individual belongs to (a.k.a. stereotypes).

Since watching that interview--among other recent ones Jojo has done as promo for her new album Good to Know (shameless plug, 🙃🍀)--I have considered how I perceive others’ intentions in their actions.  Like why a guy I’m interested in may have issues with communicating during this pandemic, or why we see characters other than the Charmed sisters being the heroes of episodes in the reboot (another shameless plug, 😎✨). When we turn off our autopilot and look at situations in their entirety, we not only begin to truly learn the world, but we in turn subtly require the world to return the favor and view us in the same way.

Follow Brandon Avery on social media!!

- Twitter: @nblvblbavery

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- Blogspot: unbelievablebavery.blogspot.com

"... That Every NEED Be Supplied"

(Image courtesy of Simply Psychology)

“SOOOO… Getting my diploma on-time so I can get a job and pay off this pending debt isn’t essential, but y’all still want to recruit me prior to completing my coursework to come work on the front lines for this ‘temporary’ pandemic--but also complete my coursework at home where it’s REALLY NOT the best place to do so… ¿¡Cómo e’, Sway?!”

At the start of the shutdown due to the COVID-19 pandemic, many peripheral issues arose: the inability to continue paying bills due to job layoffs, the delay or cancellation of many high school and college seniors’ graduation, the state of being confined to a house where abuse and lack of resources is prevalent, etc. The order to “stay home to save lives”, for many, is a catch 22 situation as their livelihood--or ability to live--is not secure by staying home. However, this does not negate the fact that all citizens adhering to the “shelter-in-place” policy is the best way to reduce the spread of coronavirus. After all, our physical safety and survival is the priority, and jobs/institutions that ensure those things will remain functioning with necessary changes. Cool, but when will all of the other issues become a priority again? I hear you, and let me offer some perspective.

Abraham Maslow, a psychologist of the mid-1900s and founder of the school of thought known as humanistic psychology, developed what is known--and still widely used--as Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. In this concept Maslow suggests that there are some needs that must be met before others, and approaching the higher level needs is a gradual process. Starting with the most fundamental of needs, the hierarchy is as follows: physiological needs (food, water, warmth, sex, sleep) ⇒ safety and security (fitness, employment, resources) ⇒ love and belonging (family, community, intimacy) ⇒ esteem (respect, recognition, independence) ⇒ self-actualization (operating in fullest potential, tending to aesthetic and cognitive needs). Though logical, the progression of needs may not be so clear cut, especially when ones’ needs intersect with another’s. For example, a husband-father may disregard his bedrest order to make sure his family is ensured the security of a stable household. Just as well, the same man may have stopped communicating with his parents and siblings if they did not support his career choices. Priorities differ from one person to another, especially those who feel that all of their needs are met (the highest level of motivation known as transcendence), which may affect their ability to see their altruistic acts as overstepping boundaries with how to sufficiently meet someone else’s needs.

Let’s not get it twisted; there is an incredibly urgent need to save billions of lives. Though the severity of this pandemic we’re experience could have been avoided, the choices and work of each state’s government have proven attentive and effective. That said, do not take these new policies as attacks on your very real, very valid personal needs. With each day these needs are being addressed (e.g. the stimulus checks from the IRS, telecommunication companies providing devices and internet service to businesses and households). Now it is our necessary responsibility to act responsibly, for ourselves and for each other.

Follow Brandon Avery on social media!!

- Twitter: @nblvblbavery

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- Blogspot: unbelievablebavery.blogspot.com

“Turning in My Megazords® for Tax Deductions”

“Bad habits die hard, I know. But am I the only one who can’t keep them dead and buried?” It has been only 35 days since I completed 24 years of living, but I can honestly say that for the first time in a long time, I feel like my psychological and biological selves have finally converged. Happy happy, joy joy!! (yes, a Ren and Stimpy reference; I do these things) Yet, I do have a serious dilemma: I am also 330 days away from being 25, the official age of “being grown.” Albeit there are perks to this milestone (e.g. lowered rates of insurance and car rentals, admission into certain governmental programs and jobs), other aspects outright turn me newborn chick yellow (e.g. end of legal dependent status, BILLS-BILLS-BILLS). An even larger concern is the self-expectation to “have it all together” by showing impervious and fluid consistency in good behaviors and acutely lessening the bad ones—which may sound hypocritical as I’m living “#ThePerfectlyImperfectLife.” If I am to be a full-fledged adult, this is what’s necessary…right? (And honestly, is it really possible?)

Many neurologists and developmental psychologists have observed significant patterns occurring in the brain during the time of adolescence, specifically in the area of the forebrain known as the PREFRONTAL CORTEX (or PFC; click here for visual). It is said that the prefrontal cortex form around the age of three years old, the same time the ability of memory is reported to start. The PFC is also closely related to a person’s decision-making skills. In his book, The Prefrontal Cortex—Executive and Cognitive Functions (Oxford, 1999), Dr. Simon Gerhand discusses the cognitive skills affected people by injuries in the PFC—some of those skills being problem solving, planning, and reasoning—as people with such insults still retain their intellect and sensory skills. More so than the other sections of the brain, the PFC undergoes crucial development during the adolescent stage of life. Even more important to note, the PFC completes its growth at the end of a person’s adolescence, usually at 25 years of age.

Here is something to consider: The brain, no matter your age, is still capable of receiving new information well. That said, the way the “middle-aged you” will perceive and utilize information, dependent upon the situation, will vary very little from how you did in earlier years. I try not to stress myself on this; lo que será será. But you have to admit, being “stuck on stupid” just got a little bit more real, right? #LetsFixThat

- Brandon Avery

“‘To You, This Is Just a Rough Time…’”

“Even though I never experienced anything other than the ’hood, I know there is more than this in the world. But why can’t anyone else see that?” By this time, you’ve probably heard every single Christmas song made in existence via radio—and we still have nearly 2 weeks left until Christmas, (-____-”) . That said, today I was passively listening “Santa, Come Straight to the Ghetto” by James Brown until the lyrics suddenly struck me. I then noticed acute desperation in his plea to Ol’ St. Nicolas to treat the children of the ghetto with more priority on this one special day as it is very rarely done to them. (Surely this revelation occurred due to the fact that I’m slightly more mature and aware than, you know, when I was biting ankles.) The difficulties of children growing in underprivileged or impoverished areas are many and should not be taken lightly; and yet, they are—not just by those outside of and unaware of these communities, but even those residing in them. Perhaps this is the case due to lack of knowledge of the factors of their conditions. So…do you mind being educated one time today?

According to the research of sociologist Linda M. Burton, there are three discontinuities that minority children and adolescents of low-income urban communities very commonly observe and exhibit: condensed-age hierarchies (i.e. age difference between the child and parent is 17 years or less), inconsistent role expectations (i.e. in school student must be an obedient child, but at home student must be an effective and responsible adult), and accelerated life course (i.e. adolescence is nonexistent as adulthood is assumed immediately following childhood, and middle-life is considered late adulthood because examples of differentiation between the two very rarely exist). Such conditions exist more prevalently in low-income communities of ethnic minorities, primarily African-American and Hispanic. (NOTE: Adolescence, as stated before, is the time when the most development in the human body and psyche occurs, and it is also the period for which exploration of the self should happen without compromise; thus, imagine what it must feel like for these youth to never partake in that right.)

It is foolish to assume that children of these environments value the standard definition of “the good life” when few observable, tangible examples of it—or the process of attaining “the good life”—exist. However, it is duty of those with better circumstances not only to be conscientious of these children, but to also act pro their enrichment. #2Times

- Brandon Avery

“‘What Would I Do If I Could Suddenly Feel…’”

“I’m shocked when I find out that someone lives past sixty-five years old or when youth die from diseases rather than murder. That’s problematic, yes?” Recently, I just celebrated my aunt’s ninetieth birthday. Yes. 90. It floored me on multiple levels. One, she has a perpetual mid-seventies vibe about her. Two, many of our family members have lacked the ability to live that long. Three, on my mind were the deaths of two students of the Upward Bound program I graduated from. It bothered me that I jumped to thinking that the deaths may have been gang-related or caused by intoxicated motorists when in reality both students were dealing with long-term illnesses. And though passing away from such illnesses may not appear as tragic as murder, suicide, or the like, death is death—especially when it comes to the youth. So why does it seem like living long is such a strange concept and departing early or horrifically is practically a new norm?

Primarily used to help in the removal of phobias, desensitization is a cognitive-behavioral process developed by psychologist Mary Cover Jones. It has its roots in the classical conditioning methods of Ivan Pavlov (hence, why it is also called Pavlovian condtioning). With Pavlovian/classical conditioning, the objective is to use a natural (unconditional) stimulus to cause a person or thing to respond to a different and neutral (conditioned) stimulus in a very similar fashion (see either image for better details).  Pertaining to that, desensitization—when used therapeutically—involves the person or thing being directly exposed to what appears threatening to them. The interactions with the source of fear or anxiety can happen in two ways: vivo desensitization (confronting the issues in real-life situations) and vicarious desensitization (created models to represent actual conflicts). As they continue to interact with the locus of fear they realize that what they fear is not as threating as once perceived, or at all. The dark side of this, pertaining to violence, is that if one is highly exposed to arguing, fighting, sexual intercourse, guns, bombing, thievery, etc., over time a person will grow minimally affected with these encounters. Of course, this varies based on the magnitude of specific events and the perception of results afterwards.

All of that said, “You are what you eat.” The things that you digest and surround yourself with make up everything you are. But do recall that diets can be changed, and the earth functions in seasons. Let’s end the numbness; it’s time to reclaim your senses.

- Brandon Avery

“When the Parentals Need Parentals… (-___-‘) ”

“If adolescents are the ones with all of the changes happening, can someone explain the EPIC episodes that my parents are having?” As most of my posts have, this topic derived from a conversation with a close friend about how she has become adamant about living out her dreams and begun putting in the work to do so. However, she feels that her parents are quite lackadaisical in regards to their desires and sometimes argues with them about their perceptions and behaviors. This is most definitely not irregular; even I—as many older adolescents do—tend to dispute with parents about the errors of their ways. We don’t mean to call them out disrespectfully, but it is bothersome that those who we model our adulthood after suddenly have major cracks in their previously perfect, gilded figure. Yet, I’m sure you’re still wondering, Where does it say all of this is okay? (OMJesus, I’m such a poet!! #UOENO)

Harry Prosen, John Toews, and Robert Martin co-authored an article discussing the intersection of parental midlife crisis and adolescent rebellion. With parents coming to terms with the finiteness of time, much of their time is devoted to “making up for lost time”; this rings an alarm for the teenager as they no longer look at their main role model—their parents, especially the parent of the same sex—as the most stable person behaviorally. (This phenomenon is called deidealization.) Parents, though, work their hardest—even forcefully—to maintain this perfectionistic relationship to reduce the chances of rebellion, which more often results in the opposite. Another factor of the disharmony between the two age groups is the shift from “alloplastic mastery” to “autoplastic mastery” in parents. This means that midlife adults grow more concerned with improvement of the self and can find contentment with the pace of the outside world, contrasting their previous apprehension with control of external affairs in order to gain a sense of independence.

Now you may think that the best thing to do is to prevent the combatting from occurring and become dependent on one another. (This would most likely occur if the child fears the demands of an independent adulthood and the parent is overly anxious with aging and its effects.) TOTALLY reasonable, but let’s be honest; how often are we successful when driven by fear or stress? Yes, nobody has time for conflict between the parentals and pubescents, but when progression is the objective, the ugly often precedes the pretty. #KeepCalmAndJustWerk

- Brandon Avery